I’ve intentionally kept May free for months now, and I’ve been looking forward to finally tackling the long list of things that always get pushed to the bottom of my list because something else feels more urgent.
👩💻🚸As someone self-employed with lots of care work, that’s kind of understandable, right? Sounds great on paper. And I’m deeply grateful for the savings and flexibility that allow me the privilege to walk this path over the coming weeks.
📆I’ll still be offering a limited number of counseling sessions – available appointments are listed here.
💬🧑🎨💭🔬🎤📕Other than that, I’m diving into various thoughts, ideas, projects, meetings, and activities I never usually have time for. Reading (non-work-related!) and resting are on the list too. A little bit of studying for the alternative psychotherapy practitioner exam in June. Books, lectures, ÖWF, training – everything’s quiet at the moment. Space for ✨✨✨
Over the past few weeks, I’ve already had moments of motivation – sorting bookshelves, brainstorming book ideas, having great conversations – I just couldn’t wait.
⛈️😶🌫️🤯Now the time is finally here, and I can feel it immediately: this is going to be hard. I’ve had this before – 2 or 3 times – a break I was incredibly excited about, and when it finally arrived, I felt totally frozen. No motivation, total slump.
On one hand, without the structure of deadlines and appointments, the exhaustion of the past few years is finally surfacing. On the other hand, I miss the dopamine hit from ticking off tasks. Big projects don’t offer quick rewards and usually come with huge starting resistance. That’s why I always pushed them aside.
The delicate balance I’ve worked so hard to build between overstimulation and boredom is now all out of whack.
📝I’m so curious to see what happens once I’ve worked through the very bottom of my to-do list – what comes up and unfolds when there’s space for it. I trust the process and I’m sitting with the discomfort, even though it feels really rough right now.
Today’s mood? Definitely “meh”…
My solutions for today:
- Small tasks after all (because even during a break, life goes on): loading the dishwasher, hanging laundry barefoot in the grass under the sun – and writing it all down on the to-do list just to cross it off.
- Using the dopamine hit from that to tackle things with more initial resistance, like going for a run – basically anything that involves movement.
- That usually makes me feel way better and gives me enough momentum to take on a bigger task.
- Rewarding myself with something nice, like cooking something delicious.
- And most importantly: being kind to myself if it doesn’t work out, and I end up scrolling aimlessly or – surprise – writing an Insta or blog post instead. Apparently, that needed to come out, and it felt right and overdue.
- Take a deep breath, and try again.
I’ll keep you posted…
So glad you’re here. 💛
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